Now That's a Story!

It was 1801. The act of union had just been passed in the house of commons, Westminster. I was on my way home from parliament, in my rickety horse and carriage, when my eyes did spot a beautiful fair maiden across the way. I ordered my horses to hold with a good crack of the whip. I told my travelling companion that he would have to find another partner for his trip home because I was getting off. I went over to the fair maiden and asked her if she had ever dated a rich and powerful man before. She said yes, she had dated an entrepreneur once when she had tried a dating service. I said but he was a common merchantman, not a fine member of the aristocracy like myself. She blushed and concurred she had as of yet not dated such an exceptionally fine dashing young man such as myself. We quickly found ourselves at the back of her pantry making love furiously. Her breasts were delightful to hold in my hands and her radiant beauty I did adore. We knocked over much food during our love making. Interlaced between our moans and groans was the thud of butter and bread as it collapsed from the shelves formerly known as its home. Eggs shattering and bottles of vegetable oil smashing also joined in to form this eclectic cacophony of cuisine smashing into smithereens. But we paid her months worth of food being ruined in the blink of an eye no notice. This was love for you. She attempted to hold herself up by folding her legs around my waist and whispered sweet nothings into the ear of her partner, yours truly. I did adore this encounter for sure. But I had to be off to meet the wife for dinner back at my manner. The help had cooked a fine feed up I was assured by her in her correspondence with me; one I was sure to adore. So I bid farewell to my partner, stole one of her horses from the barn and galloped away back home.