Now That's a Story!

Oh let me tell you about an encounter I had after visiting a swingers website. Oh my was it passionate. We made love by candle light and it was great. But I needed to go to the shop. So I went to the shop and bought an ice-cream. But the ice-cream tasted evil so I had an argument with the shopkeeper and my was it a passionate argument. So I took a candle and lit it on smacked the shopkeeper about the head with it. And he eventually admitted he was at fault for making the ice-cream taste evil. So I said "I'm sorry for that. But you needed to be taught a lesson. Taught a lesson good." and he said "OK OK. But please just leave." So I left and met up with my boyfriend. We had a dinner by candle light and had a passionate snog afterwards and it was great. And then I walked through my neighbourhood and met a spotted elephant and he was very happy to see me. Why you ask? Because elephants are very jovial beasts. And so I asked if I could have a ride on his strong back. And he said yes. So I hopped on the elephant and he drove me around the place. It was better than a car. So I went to my boyfriend's place and had a dinner by candle light again. But my boyfriend was mean to me so I got the spotted elephant to administer punishment to his backside. And so the elephant smashed through the house's facade and smacked my boyfriend with his trunk. But I decided this was not enough punishment to rectify the pure evil within my boyfriend. So I told the elephant to keep going. And the elephant did. And now my boyfriend will never be evil again. Well that's what I thought but one day he defied me again, defied my will. So I got the elephant again and got it to demolish the house. It was the only way he would learn, to have that which he loved razed to the ground. And now he's a very good boyfriend, a very good boyfriend indeed.