Now That's a Story!

My friend looked at me with disapproval as I laughed loudly at her latest piece of detective work. I loved her to bits, but she was a right busy body too, always looking out and about seeing whats going on. Generally coming up with some bizarre explanation for why the postman went into the housedown the roadforfive minutes, as apposed to the likely one of using the toilet, or for why the woman across the roads ex always smells and looksgood on arrival, as apposed to the likely explanation of he was going to the pub after visiting his kids. But, her new piece of gossip I found partly interesting and partly hilarious.

'What makes ya think that?' I asked between giggles.

She lowered her voice to a whisper at this point whilst she launched into a full scale back up story of why she was convinced the new residents next door were in fact a swinging couple. I heard about how she'd seen a really handsome looking business man accompanied with a young stunning girl turn up at the house the last three evenings, she was very convinced that they didn'tlook anything like acouple so weren't actually together, but how she just knew that they were entertaining the residents next door. I struggled not to laugh again as she told her defensive story with such enthusiasm.

'wait, wait' she said as she poured us both a glass of wine 'that's not it all'

At this point I struggled not to laugh violently, the way she was speaking, so quickly and enthusiastically made me wonder just if she was worried about them being swingers or if in fact she held a burning excitement about it being true. She went on with her detailed account of the past few days events,sometimes forgetting to whisper and then looking embarrassed that the couple next door may have just heard her, but not holding back her desire to tell me because of this.

I learnt how the so called handsome business guy and his blond company always turned up just after tea time, how they were both greeted with kisses and hugs, how not long after they arrived my friend heard many 'rhythmic noises' that told only one story, how she sometimes even heard gasping, or moaning. She then went on to explain that she heard the shower running more then once after such an event and that she was so shocked that it was all going on next door. My humour started to turn towonderment as everything she saiddid in fact seemto only point in one direction and I wondered through points of the story just if she was right this time, and I'd been wrong to scoff and laugh at her.

As we relaxed into another glass of wine and sat at the table for the spaghetti bolognese that she'd managed to burn by concentrating more on gossip and less on cooking I couldn't help hoping that there would be some activity next door tonight. If only to clock eyes on the handsome guy I'd been hearing so much about the last couple of hours. Pointing out to her that I'd like to see for myself we decided to go out for a cigarette at roughly the time she knew they'd arrive.

Sure enough, a few minutes after lighting our cigarette, the amazingly stunning pair started to walk up next doors garden path. I tried desperately not to stare as realisation hit me that my friend may for once be right.... We both made sure we were looking out of the corner of our eye when the neighbour answered the door. We obviously weren't being subtle enough as the neighbour called over loudly to say hello, I wasn't sure if to hang my head or to embrace the situation. Fortunately my friend did it for me and went bounding over.

'Hiya love' my friend said 'aint ya gonna introduce me'

'Oh sorry love' replied the neighbour, 'This is my brother and my niece, meant to let you know they come round nightly in case there is any noise. They're both very jealous of my home gym so let them have use of it every week night. Hope they don't disturb you too much'

I glanced at my friend, pretty sure her cheeks were on fire by this point. And she'd certainly lost the use of her voice! All she seemed to manage in a very quiet whisper was 'oooops!'